Monday, March 26, 2012

RELATIONALIZE. PLEEEEAAASE!

I just found this table:
CREATE TABLE (
TipCode CHAR(3) NOT NULL,
TipGroup CHAR(1) , -- WTF?!?
FatigueDispo CHAR(1),
HWDesc NVARCHAR(100),
SWDesc NVARCHAR(100),
PRTDesc NVARCHAR(100),
STDesc NVARCHAR(100)
)
/*no primary key, no indexes */
Data looks like this:
TipCode TipGroup ...
010 1
020 2
030 ?
040 ?
Instead of making the TipGroup column not-null, and refusing to use empty
strings, they have represented the unknown values with this: '?'
[bonking head on desk]
Celko, please come here and beat my colleagues to death. You get overtime
pay if you beat the bosses too. I might even help.
"Here let's use a relational system to do nonsensical things like store '?'
which means 'unknown'" But NULL? NOOOOOO!!!! That would be too easy!
Peace & happy computing,
Mike Labosh, MCSD
"When you kill a man, you're a murderer.
Kill many, and you're a conqueror.
Kill them all and you're a god." -- Dave MustaneSr. developer:
"NULL? We can't use null... not in a char(1) column... there's no room! NULL
is like four characters long... futher more it might get truncated to 'N' an
d
that's already reserved... and even if it doesn't - who knows what NULL
menas... better make it a '?'... it's a question mark... everybody knows wha
t
*that* means..."
Jr. developer:
"Yeah, I think it's brilliant, sir. And I'd like to say that *you're*
brilliant, too, sir!"
Mike:
#$&% *!|||What do you mean you can't use NULL in char(1) column? Have you tried it?
=0}
Let's just say for grins, you try it. What happens?
"ML" <ML@.discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message
news:BAD57E39-F45F-4547-8540-DA8943EC2B1A@.microsoft.com...
> Sr. developer:
> "NULL? We can't use null... not in a char(1) column... there's no room!
> NULL
> is like four characters long... futher more it might get truncated to 'N'
> and
> that's already reserved... and even if it doesn't - who knows what NULL
> menas... better make it a '?'... it's a question mark... everybody knows
> what
> *that* means..."
> Jr. developer:
> "Yeah, I think it's brilliant, sir. And I'd like to say that *you're*
> brilliant, too, sir!"
> Mike:
> #$&% *!|||Have you?
I guess Mike's co-workers did and they didn't like the fact that QA displays
all four letters suggesting something nasty and unpredictable. :)
ML|||He's not talking about the string "NULL"
He's talking about the NULL value.
"ML" <ML@.discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message
news:D3191D85-26D4-4187-81CB-B40E21E683B1@.microsoft.com...
> Have you?
> I guess Mike's co-workers did and they didn't like the fact that QA
> displays
> all four letters suggesting something nasty and unpredictable. :)
>
> ML|||Yes, I know it, you know it and Mike knows it. But do *they* know it? I mean
- just look at it. Sure looks like a string. And if it looks like a string,
then it must be a string. :)
ML
p.s. we are still joking here, right?|||yup. :)
so did you try it?
"ML" <ML@.discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message
news:834F8E45-5C09-4A69-B9E7-5CBFEF9A3165@.microsoft.com...
> Yes, I know it, you know it and Mike knows it. But do *they* know it? I
> mean
> - just look at it. Sure looks like a string. And if it looks like a
> string,
> then it must be a string. :)
>
> ML
> p.s. we are still joking here, right?|||My QA displays NULL in the result-set. And if I copy and paste it as text it
becomes a string. That's what makes it nasty and unpredictable. :)
It's quite obvious why they decided on '?'. That is if one of them went
through the same process of analysis. LOL
ML|||> Sr. developer:
> "NULL? We can't use null... not in a char(1) column... there's no room!
> NULL
> is like four characters long... futher more it might get truncated to 'N'
> and
> that's already reserved... and even if it doesn't - who knows what NULL
> menas... better make it a '?'... it's a question mark... everybody knows
> what
> *that* means..."
> Jr. developer:
> "Yeah, I think it's brilliant, sir. And I'd like to say that *you're*
> brilliant, too, sir!"
ROFLMAO!
This is EXACTLY how they work here! OMG! I didn't even know that you
worked for TNS!
Peace & happy computing,
Mike Labosh, MCSD
"When you kill a man, you're a murderer.
Kill many, and you're a conquerer.
Kill them all and you're a god." -- Dave Mustane
"ML" <ML@.discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message
news:BAD57E39-F45F-4547-8540-DA8943EC2B1A@.microsoft.com...
> Mike:
> #$&% *!|||TNS is not an isolated case. :) If that's any consolation to you.
Overheard in an office:
"Relational model? Yes, we do have one. I'm married to the boss. Now go back
to work!"
ML

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